Transformed Women For Christ

Recently a friend brought up a question on how to address problems within her small group that may arise due to different denominations, perspectives and backgrounds. This is an excellent question. Bringing people together to learn and grow from the Word is a beautiful thing, however, we are flawed and full of opinions. Many of us are going to be passionate about our beliefs. Passion is fuel for fire in most cases.

Stick to the basics. Some issues have a clear answer in the Bible and some don’t. If the issue lies inside the gray area, then don’t start to sweat. If you are a Bible study leader especially then you want to be sure to stay on topic and redirect any digressing train of conversation. Everyone should feel they are able to speak and share their thoughts, however we also need to remember that we are there for fellowship, growth, learning, and bonding with our Lord. Staying grounded in the Word is the best way to know if you are on track with your opinion on a matter. We should always seek the answer within the Bible if it is addressed there.

Any issue that does not deal with salvation is not something worth dividing us. I cannot stress this enough. Today in our world we face division over every single little solitary thing. It’s such a waste of our time. Let’s never find ourselves searching for more reasons to dislike, separate and shun people. If the issue does not deal with salvation, such as Jesus’ deity, that He resurrected, then it is not worthy of an argument or confrontation. There will be people who believe certain things save them, such as their good works, baptism, or always going to church and serving at church. These are situations where I would rebuke them in love, however, I would also refer them to other resources. There are times when people simply will not listen. It may be because you are not the pastor, or because you are female (sorry, it is what it is my friend). Refer them to a higher authority on the matter, or a book, or an online resource. If they are there at Bible study then we assume they want to grow and learn. This should not be frowned upon but welcomed.

Accountability is key. Before you begin a new semester of Bible study try handing out an outline of expectations. Train the leaders to be prepared for this type of situation and give them a list of prepared resources (vetted beforehand) to keep on hand. When your group has come together on the first day simply go over what you should all expect from each other during the study. We should always want others to help us grow and we can do that by being accountable to one another. If we hold a view that is inconsistent with the Bible then we should expect our fellow Christians to correct us.

The salvific issue: Think of the Romans Road. Anything outside of this is not worth a pursuit of conflict. While we may get angry when someone agrees with abortion, still reads their horoscope, or is always making fun of others and cursing nonstop, these are not issues which should be cause for division. These are issues to be dealt with on a one-on-one, intimate, mentor-like situation. We definitely do not want to blast anyone in front of others. No one should feel attacked during a study. Recall Jesus in John 8:7 saying, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” (ESV) We need to build one another up and offer constructive criticism. No one is perfect or flawless, so let’s be mindful of that.

You: What should you do (leader of the study or not) when a situation arises where there is a massive difference of opinion on a gray area issue? Be confident in God’s Word. Stay approachable–watch your tone, your facial expressions, your body gestures. Pray for the group–that they are given discernment, sound judgement, that God would open their minds, eyes, ears, hearts to the Truth and to know His will. Offer a coffee date or a one-on-one with the person or persons who are having the strong disagreement. Gather support from a Titus 2 woman, pastor, preacher, chaplain or whomever your leadership board has available for the situation. Those people will be extremely helpful to mitigate the problem, if it gets heated, or to clarify a gray area if there is general confusion. Stay in contact with your entire group and be available for people to reach out individually. Be sure you are not picking favorites inside your small group and leaving others out.

Sometimes the most flawed people are those who are coming to church, to Bible studies, to youth groups and women’s studies. These people may love reading raunchy romance novels, binging Harry Potter movies, getting tattoos, going to concerts, and doing things you may just not be remotely into. It is OK! We ALL need Jesus. We are going to have disagreements. We are going to feel God pulling us one way or another. When one person feels called to obey the Jewish feasts, this doesn’t mean they should be pressuring others to observe them as well. God convicts us in certain areas on an individual basis and in other areas God is clear in His standards for all of us as a church. Pray to be like the Bereans and research God’s Word to know what is and is not Biblical.

Remember Jesus’ words when asked the greatest commandments in Mark 12: 29-31, Jesus replies to “love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and all your mind and with all your strength.” (ESV) We should be united in our love for the Lord first and foremost. And the second greatest Jesus tells us in verse 31, “love your neighbor as yourself.” Love people. If it was easy then this walk would not be the narrow path that it is. Jesus calls us to be pinpoints of light in an ever darkening world. Let’s be that light, and be loving people, leading people to Him and to an eternity in heaven with our Creator.